Last night I flew back from Melbourne and to my great fortunate I sat next to a couple who have been doing stepfamily life for the past 25 years. We got talking, and they are in what is called a complex stepfamily. This is where they both brought children from a previous marriage to create a new family configuration (stepfamily). I started to tell them about my work with stepmums and they very graciously imparted 3 pearls of wisdom which I feel compelled to share with you. As this beautiful couple spoke to me they had a glow about them. I found myself admiring their sense of tenacity, positive outlook and what appeared to be an enduring sense of deep care for all members in their stepfamily.
I came away from the conversation feeling so grateful to have wise elders in our stepfamily community who can offer their wisdom from a very conscious and thoughtful perspective. I love that this couple who are now 65 and 70 y.o. are able to feel proud, confident and content with the decisions they made as parents. It was very clear that the two of them are a close and loving couple who’s devotion to each other automatically ripples out to their children.
Here are their 3 Wise Tips for a Successful Stepfamily:
(I have chosen to be as true to their words as possible)
1. Never meet fire with fire. Wait for the flames to die before trying to have any reasonable conversations.
2. Constantly remind your stepchildren that you are their for them. They have a chance to build a new, solid and beautiful relationship. They may fight you but it’s because they are hurting. Be open, caring and remain there for them.
3. Don’t p!ss in the wind! The fella shared this with me and he was apologetic for swearing ha ha. He said if the situation you are facing is so challenging and you are getting no where move on, and simply focus on what you can change.
These tips are short and sweet! I love them!
It would be great to hear from you and any other beautiful pearls of wisdom you might like to share. You can head on over to the facebook group, Amazing Stepmums: The Place To Be and share with us your best tip for a successful stepfamily.
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