‘Strengths’ are the gems which thread ever so beautifully through your personality. Inside of you are qualities and skills which can provide you with an increased sense of motivation, higher energy levels, and a greater sense of confidence and resilience. These particular qualities and skills are your unique strengths and when utilized can lead to a greater sense of fulfillment in your role as stepmum.
Examples of Qualities: Caring, Strong, Humorous, Decisive, Adventurous, Skillful, Respectful, Relaxed, Honest, Fair, Flexible, Assertive, Curious, Loyal, Open …
Can you name 5 qualities which reflect your internal gems (strengths)?
Examples of Skills: Playing netball, Cooking, Riding a push bike, Calling out at football games (soccer mum), Drawing elephants, Digging holes in the garden, Having difficult conversations …
Can you name 5 skills which you know you are good at (strengths)?
Why do I need to focus on my strengths?
Stepmums are very vulnerable to experiencing the reality of anxiety and depression. This is due to the complex and intricate nature of being a woman in a stepfamily. Bringing your strengths to the forefront of your consciousness raises your self-esteem and can help you to feel clearer and emotionally stronger in this role. By increasing your self-awareness in relation to your strengths you may come to realize that you need to implement more boundaries, join a group or class which helps you to grow your skills or talents, learn stress management strategies so that your gems (strengths) can shine.
When you bring your full attention to the qualities you like about yourself and your skills, you set up a series of biochemical changes in your brain. These biochemical changes then filter through your entire body. This experience helps to generate a greater sense of vitality which then enhances your ability to solve/face the challenges which are likely to emerge. Also, utilizing your strengths can assist with bringing you back into balance.
Connecting authentically to your beautiful strengths can make a big difference to how you are feeling. Below are two suggested activities you might like to try:
1. Set yourself the task of writing 20 words which represent the many facets of yourself that you like. You might like to grab a piece of large butcher’s paper and a set of coloured pens/pencils/textas. As you write each word or phrase take time to breath in the essence of the word before moving onto the next. If you sense negativity stepping in you might like to say aloud the qualities and skills you are identifying to help reprogram your thinking “I am strong, I am creative. I am good at cartwheels.’ It’s a bit like saying a mantra.
2. Act on something you are good at and enjoy doing. You might like to do this solo or involve someone you know you will have fun with! Remember, one of the important aspects of this activity is to reconnect to your sense of vitality. Have a think about what you would like to do. It’s important to set aside the right amount of time so you can immerse yourself in the activity of your choice. Do you need to ask your partner to look after the kids, or do you need a babysitter, or do you need to harness those precious moments when the kids are at school or asleep? Go on give it a go!
Finding effective ways to experience your strengths can offer you great strength in your role as stepmum. Utilizing your beautiful strengths can help you to move towards a greater sense of happiness. Right now you are an amazing and wonderful woman and you can experience genuine happiness. Engaging in activities which help to cultivate a rich sense of self love will hold you in good stead for the journey ahead.
I would love to hear from you and to read some of the strengths you have identified in yourself. You can comment below or head on over to my facebook group, Amazing Stepmum Support Group, and share there what you have discovered about yourself. You are AMAZING!
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